Twickenham Therapist on Harvey Weinstein

…. (like most other women I imagine this week).

As the week went on I started to wonder how he had time to produce films as assaulting and violating women seemed to be his main purpose, certainly he seems to have devoted huge amounts of time to it.

Then I started wondering about all the people who revealed that they too had experienced his abuse, or knew someone who had, and I was for a while, incredulous that this should be so. But then, I realized, just because he is famous and the women he assaulted (mainly) inhabit that place of wealth and status, the dynamics of abuse work in same way around the world and through different classes and situations.

Silence and collusion happens in the family that stays together with an abuser in their midst. Keeping it behind closed doors means pretending it isn’t happening. Refusing to believe a child, is easier to some than facing the consequences. Whether it be a hugely powerful movie producer or the boss that corners you in the stationary cupboard, the imbalance of power facilitates abuse. The shame felt by the person abused is pervasive, and without space to be named and safely talked about the shame grows and grows.  It shuts them down and keeps them quiet, they struggle with the aftermath, whilst the abuser goes about his merry way, I imagine ever normalizing his behaviour as he does so.

I think it easy to play the addiction card, Weinstein doesn’t look to me like a man whose life was spiraling out of control because of his need for sex, he looks like a man who hurt women and was caught out.  I don’t hold out much hope for his treatment.

BUT, if this publicity encourages just one abused person to seek help and realize that the are not shameful, they are not wrong and they are not making a big deal out of nothing, then something good will come.